Post a visual schedule at home and make a mini-schedule for traveling. If there are any changes in the schedule, try to alert your child ahead of time and do some “social briefing” about what might be expected.
Try to keep at least one part of their day consistent. Such as a regular bedtime or mealtime.
Let your child use a “I need a break” card when they feel like they are overwhelmed and need a quick escape. Your child could keep a small green pom-pom or tiny green fidget ball in their pocket that they could hand you when they need help getting back into the green zone. Sometimes they just need a few moments in a quiet space to regroup and then they may be able to rejoin the group.
Build in choices whenever possible to help your child feel more in control. This can be as simple as saying “pick which cup you want for your hot chocolate.”
A powerful, natural reward to focus on this season is working to make someone else feel good without the expectation of a prize reward. Let your child know when they are doing things that make us feel good or make others feel good. This is an important part of Michelle Garcia Winner’s Social Behavior Mapping (www.socialthinking.com). If you do what is expected, then I feel good and then I treat you well, which makes you feel good.
Get your child involved in the holiday event by giving them small jobs to do before the party and during the party. This would also be a good time to give them a reward for a job well done.
Think about your child’s sensory needs.
It’s okay to allow your child to wear something more comfortable to a party. If a family photo is in the mix, your child can do the fancy holiday attire for just a few minutes and then change back.
If all the hugs, kisses, and loud greetings overwhelm your child, allow them to wave or shake hands with people. If there is one special relative that may not understand your child’s sensitivities, perhaps you can practice a quick three-second hug saved just for grandma.
Have some quiet time each day. Allow for some transition time between activities. Practice mindful relaxing and breathing. Remember, it’s okay not to commit to every event.
Be sure to have at least one of your child’s favorite foods at the table. However, be sure to practice being mindful and using their social filter by not making hurtful comments about the smells or tastes of foods when they are with others.
Talk about events in advance to ease anxiety. Books, social stories, pictures, and role-plays will help your child know more about the event and feel less in the Yellow Zone. I remember one Social Learning Works 500 Tamal Plaza, Suite 529 Corte Madera, CA 94925 www.sociallearningworks.com student that was very anxious about seeing The Nutcracker because she was afraid that the dancers might fall off the stage. We talked about the play and how the dancers had practiced a great deal and would most likely not fall into her lap even though they had front row tickets.
Role-play or write a social story about gift giving and receiving. Talk about what to do when we receive a gift we like or do not like as well as how to say thank you. This might call for a “social fake” if they do not like a gift that they receive. This is also a good time to teach your child about perspective taking and thinking about what type of gift a person might want. For example, a three-year-old boy would not want the same gift as a 16-year-old girl.
Help your child with making conversations with relatives and friends. You can practice some possible scripts for your child such as “I got a new Lego set, what did you get?”
Watch funny holiday movies together. Laughter is a great way to stay in the Green Zone.
For information about why the holidays can be difficult for kids, click here.